Psychological aspects of Scoliosis Surgery

Ever since my surgery I have been paranoid that my back will go back to how it was before my operation or that it will move/change in some way. I know the metalwork is strong but I can't help worrying about it.

For the first few weeks that I was home after my surgery I was constantly taking pictures of my back from different angles and I would panic if I thought that it looked slightly different from the one I took a few days before. It almost became an obsession.

Even now I still look at my back constantly, if I pass a mirror or a window I look at my back to make sure it still looks how it should do. I still take photos of my back to compare to a few months ago albeit it not as frequently now.

I do wonder if this is something that will ever go away or will I always feel this way? If so I feel like I'm living on edge, constantly worrying/thinking about my back.

My mum sees me looking at my back a lot and tells me to stop and "move on" with my life but it is hard. I think 10 years of looking a certain way which then suddenly changes overnight is a lot to deal with. I've been so used to looking at/taking photos of my back constantly before surgery that I guess old habits are hard to break.

I truly believe that the psychological part of this condition is often overlooked by doctors and yet for me it's a part I feel I suffer with the most, even after surgery.

For me, my back looks alot better than before but I don't feel I look "normal." I still don't feel comfortable in certain clothes, I still feel very self concious most of the time and I still don't like anyone seeing/touching my back.

I didn't expect to feel this way after surgery and have received no guidance on how to deal with it. I don't know if others feel this way after scoliosis surgery but for me this recovery is not just physical, it's emotional aswell.

I don't know if I should go to my GP and explain how I feel or whether this is just normal after such a huge change to my body. 

Hopefully I won't feel this way forever and will be able to have just one day without even thinking about my back.